Humor Quote by Scott Adams — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.”

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”

“Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.”

“Your brain is doing some great work when it's laughing.”

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”

“Walking around nude in front of humans was not a good way to keep a low profile with the community. It was an excellent way to make new friends, though.”

“He was painfully shy, which, as is often the manner of the painfully shy, he overcompensated for by being too loud at the wrong times.”