Humor Quote by Richelle Mead — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays.”

“You used nunchucks on a moose?”

“She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army.”

“Of course, now I had the problem of communicating what I needed. Marlen was still beating on the door, and Dimitri would be up in a couple of minutes. I glared at the human, hoping I looked terrifying. From his expression, I did. I attempted the caveman talk I had with Inna...only this time the message was a little harder.”

“Vampires. Honestly, they're like children sometimes.”

“Sydney spent a lot of time on my bed these days.”

“You so need to lighten up about that potato-launcher incident," Butch said.”

“They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.”

“He tackled a woman's baby carriage. After the seven-month-old baby skidded across the pavement and began bawling his eyes out, Bill Brady started shouting at the toddler, 'What are you, a pussy? Walk it off! Walk it off!' After the mother shouted out her baby's age and how he wasn't able to walk yet, Bill Brady started barking in the vexed mother's face like she was a referee who had made a bad call.”

“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies.”

“I'm a girl of extremes. When I love something, I'm like a puppy dog (without all the licking). When I'm cranky, I'm a wasp (like a whole hive of 'em). And when I'm angry, I'm a Mother Bear with a predator after her cubs: Dangerous.”

“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –”