Humor Quote by Joseph Heller — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.”

“The chaplain had sinned, and it was good. Common sense told him that telling lies and defecting from duty were sins. On the other hand, everyone knew that sin was evil and that no good could come from evil. But he did feel good; he felt positively marvelous. Consequently, it followed logically that telling lies and defecting from duty could not be sins.”

“Why are they going to disappear him?'”

“Where were you born?”

“I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.”

“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”

“Well, that's an evil smile...”

“Basically, everyone thinks--knows--how sweet I am.”

“Work fast.”

“When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.”

“Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.”

“Civilization is vastly overrated.”