Humor Quote by Robert Benchley — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“The only cure for a real hangover is death.”

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”

“Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.”

“It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops.”

“Wit is educated insolence.”

“Your as slow as a fat kid on crutches”

“You're not eating anything," said Marilla sharply, eying her as if it were a serious shortcoming. Anne sighed.”