Humor Quote by Ellen DeGeneres — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.”

“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”

“One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”

“Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”

“Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.”

“I wouldn't marry Giddon to save my life," Katsa said. "Not even to save yours.”

“In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.”

“I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don't understand explain things you can't understand.”

“If anger were mileage, I'd be a very frequent flyer, right up there in First Class.”

“They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate.”

“Ichigo: You got that? Huh?! I'm the rescuer, so you just SHUT UP!!”