Humor Quote by Cassandra Clare — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Going round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it.”

“I guess it’s true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.”

“Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?”

“I'm seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn't going to work. You won't even admit I exist to your parents.”

“He touched her face, gently, with the back of his hand. 'you disappear so completely into your head sometimes.' he said. 'i wish i could follow you.'”

“Fresh is better. But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?”

“Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either. We sit around in our underwear until noon then go downstairs and make coffee, fry some eggs, read the paper, read part of a book, smell the book, wonder if perhaps we ourselves should work on our book, smell the book again, throw the book across the room because we are quite jealous that any other person wrote a book, feel terribly guilty about throwing the schmuck's book across the room because we secretly wonder if God in heaven noticed our evil jealousy, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch facedown and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words. And for this, as I said, we are paid a dollar. We are worth so much more.”

“Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. "Watson" he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see.”

“Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet.”

“Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?”

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”