Humor Quote by Ally Carter — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.”

“You can’t really yell at your boyfriend for stealing your seat and your best friend. You also can’t yell at your best friend for stealing your boyfriend. Or you can…but Hi seemed like a much easier way to start the morning.”

“Somebody knows.”

“Sometimes I lie in bed at night, thinking of ways to kill you and make it look like an accident.” His whole face changed. Pity turned to arrogance as his gaze dipped to her lips. And lingered. “So what you’re saying is, you think about me in bed.”

“Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)”

“Waiting. Like it or not, it's a skill all spies have to master eventually.”

“I'm seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn't going to work. You won't even admit I exist to your parents.”

“I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.”

“On the whole, we're a murderous race. According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain's brother Abel probably never saw it coming. As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding. For freaking Cain.”

“Humor is just another defense against the”

“Why?' is always the most difficult question to answer. You know where you are when someone asks you 'What's the time?' or 'When was the battle of 1066?' or 'How do these seatbelts work that go tight when you slam the brakes on, Daddy?' The answers are easy and are, respectively, 'Seven-thirty in the evening,' 'Ten-fifteen in the morning,' and 'Don't ask stupid questions.”