Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.”

“Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.”

“If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.”

“For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT being obsessive to memorize a boy's schedule so that you can accidentally bump into him. It is called being efficient.”

“You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.”

“When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.”

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.”