“It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley ...” — Penn Jillette Quote

It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal.

I've voted Libertarian as long as I can remember, but I don't really remember much before the Clintons and the Bushes. Those clans made a lot of us bugnutty.

I've never had a drink of alcohol or any drug in my life.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.

Running isn't a sport for pretty boys...It's about the sweat in your hair and the blisters on your feet. Its the frozen spit on your chin and the nausea in your gut. It's about throbbing calves and cramps at midnight that are strong enough to wake the dead. It's about getting out the door and running when the rest of the world is only dreaming about having the passion that you need to live each and every day with. It's about being on a lonely road and running like a champion even when there's not a single soul in sight to cheer you on. Running is all about having the desire to train and persevere until every fiber in your legs, mind, and heart is turned to steel. And when you've finally forged hard enough, you will have become the best runner you can be. And that's all that you can ask for.

Never leave yourself without an out, a safety net. Don't bet what will take you out of the market, the bidding, the game. Live to fight another day.

He who is not enviable is not admirable.

How dare a person tell a woman, how to dress, how to talk, how to behave! Any being who does that, is no human.