“Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got ...” — Penn Jillette Quote

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

Before you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you're old enough to do any real damage with an Uzi, you've learned that difference.

Someone who is a good person should have no fear of the government whatsoever.

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.

I hate that not everything ever written is on iBooks. Man, I hate paper.

Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.

I definitely script things out. I definitely write things down and try to write jokes. Often, they're terrible. I often write terrible, terrible jokes.

I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references.

I prefer sayings over jokes.

I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.