Humor Quote by George Carlin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.”

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“How is it possible to have a civil war?”

“I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.”

“No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.”

“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”

“Art is anything you can get away with.”

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

“Either you go to America with Mrs. Van Hopper or you come home to Manderley with me.”

“Come work for me, and I’ll tell you.”

“Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something.”

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”