Humor Quote by Steve Martin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.”

“Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.”

“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

“she is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin bloomed like roses.”

“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”

“I'm not holding you against your will; I'm holding you against your car.”

“How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding.”

“People who entered the Courtyard without an invitation were just plain crazy! Wolves were big and scary and so fluffy, how could anyone resist hugging one just to feel all that fur?”

“Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.”

“I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.”

“I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.”