Humor Quote by Jerome K. Jerome — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“You can never rouse Harris. There is no poetry about Harris- no wild yearning for the unattainable. Harris never "weeps, he knows not why." If Harris's eyes fill with tears, you can bet it is because Harris has been eating raw onions, or has put too much Worcester over his chop.”

“I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.”

“How good one feels when one is full -- how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.”

“(Speaking of the Cistercian monks) A grim fraternity, passing grim lives in that sweet spot, that God had made so bright! Strange that Nature's voices all around them--the soft singing of the waters, the wisperings of the river grass, the music of the rushing wind--should not have taught them a truer meaning of life than this. They listened there, through the long days, in silence, waiting for a voice from heaven; and all day long and through the solemn night it spoke to them in myriad tones, and they heard it not.”

“A woman never thoroughly cares for her”

“The inhabitants of the earth are of two sorts: those with brains, but no religion, and those with religion, but no brains.”

“In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.”

“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.”

“And you're blind?”

“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.”

“I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.”