“My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does liv...” — Mitch Hedberg Quote

“My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.”

“Dogs are forever in the push up postion.”

“Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.”

“Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.”

“It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?”

“A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”

“When I told my mother that I wanted to be an actress, she said, you can't live here and do that, and so I moved out. I was determined to prove her wrong because she was so sure that I was going to go astray. And that's the juice that kept me going.”

“My best actress of all time is Kate Winslet. I want to be just like her. 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' is one of my favourite films.”

“Not all actresses know how to express their looks, I think. For me, it's an on-again, off-again thing. I'm still struggling.”

“I enjoy flitting around between hair colours. I find it fascinating when people think I'm naturally blonde, as I've only been blonde for about two seconds. People pay more attention to you as a blonde; it's also easier for people to assume you're a ditsy young actress. Of course, I am a ditsy young actress - well, maybe not ditsy.”

“I would like to remain an actress, but am very anxious to direct and produce.”