“After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works...” — Aziz Ansari Quote

“After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times, and then one night it'll flop.”

“Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.”

“What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.”

“The idea of bringing color into the Super Brow collection was really inspired by seeing all our fans and followers posting colorful eyebrow pictures using our liquid lipsticks. I think that's really cool because you know, the formula, although it's not designed for the eye, it can work on an eyebrow.”

“I have a theory that because my kitchen is small, you can't preheat an oven and deal with dough at the same time, although maybe it's just that I'm a bad baker.”

“When I am in the Scottish Parliament chamber, I often feel the need to sit for the entire debate. It's only courteous to listen to what everyone has to say, although I often find myself desperate to say something but too scared to stand up in case I regret it.”