“A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the ...” — Phyllis Diller Quote

“A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.”

“If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.”

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

“It's unequivocal: everyplace I go, the one line I can use in a speech that I know will get applause is when I say it's time for a new generation of leadership in our party.”

“I always say the best applause you can get is when you walk from backstage up to your microphone at a concert. It's also nice to walk up to the mike at an awards show, and that applause is great, too, but the best is when your fans are cheering for you.”

“When I got through, Duke Ellington stood up and started the applause.”