“Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won't give my T...” — Ron White Quote

“Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won't give my TV show. I put it in my live show.”

“Don't bring your kids to my show, and I won't come to your house and cuss.”

“You can't fix stupid.”

“If I do consider fighting, it won't be until after the Olympic games in 2020, and then from there I'll reevaluate, see if it's something that would be a realistic option for me.”

“Growing up, I was encouraged to get a good education, get a real job doing something I enjoyed, and, should the opportunity present itself, consider public service as just that: a chance to serve, not an end in itself.”

“I hate when people call me a star, because I don't consider myself to be a star.”