“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...” — W. C. Fields Quote

“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.”

“Once in a while I'll drink a rum-and-Coke but that's all, and only once in a while.”

“Spector is a good guy, but he's a nut. Ha, ha, ha! You know, I love him, but he's unpredictable. He's OK as long as he don't drink.”

“The fact that a Republican is in the late Senator Kennedy's old seat probably must have him rolling in his grave, probably spilling his drink.”