“Comedy comes out of everyone's worst day. No one writes a sitcom episo...” — Jim Jefferies Quote

“Comedy comes out of everyone's worst day. No one writes a sitcom episode about everyone having a good day. It's always about someone being locked out of their house or someone being dumped or whatever.”

“I just eat half portions, do cardio every day.”

“I had a head injury when I was living in England; I was in the hospital for three days, and they didn't even ask for my name. I spent three days in there. And then, when I was done, I just got up and left. I wasn't a British citizen; I was there on a work permit.”

“I've never been dumped, but I'm sure it will happen.”

“I fell in love when I was 21, after returning from Australia. It lasted for about two years before she dumped me. It was, in retrospect, a really wonderful thing because it made me very poetic and melancholic.”

“Most shows get dumped by the networks, do a couple of years in syndication, then they're in the vault. 'Mission: Impossible' has never been off the screen.”