“The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.” — Joe E. Lewis Quote

“The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.”

“I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.”

“A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.”

“I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.”

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”