Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.”

“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

“When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.”

“The common man prays, 'I want a cookie right now!' And God responds, 'If you'd listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies.”

“wash the brush, just beats the devil out of it”

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.”

“I am your Prince and you will marry me," Humperdinck said.”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?”