Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”

“The weakest of all weak things is a virtue which has not been tested in the fire.”

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

“This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“Knock-knock-knock”

“NO PDA,school rules. And besides she's my partner dickhead." said Alex.”

“Who knows how to make love stay?”

“I'd love to...but only with you.”

“Do not do that again," he said stiffly.”

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”