Humor Quote by J. K. Rowling — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.”

“Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again...”

“They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.”

“He'll have that scar forever.”

“Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!”

“Would you like me to [kill you] now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?”

“You're only a man! You've not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!”

“When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.”

“Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?”

“You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.”

“I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.”