Humor Quote by J. K. Rowling — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Would you like me to [kill you] now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

“They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.”

“Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.”

“He'll have that scar forever.”

“Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again...”

“Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.”

“Until you accept that you’ll never get your problem fixed, whatever it is, you’ll be endlessly transferred from department to department until our call center closes. Sometimes you’ll be left on hold even after everyone at the call center has left for the day. Until you get exhausted with our run-around service and give up all hope, you’ll be stuck in The Circle Jerk. Right now, this very minute, you’re in The Circle Jerk, sir. Do you wish to continue circling or are you going to hang up your phone and go watch TV?”

“Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.”

“Miss Fitt, you know curiosity gets men killed.”

“I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.”

“Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

“Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”