Humor Quote by John Green — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Ergo: girls should always make the first move, because (a) they are, on the whole, less likely to be rejected than guys, (b) that way, girls will never get kissed unless they want to be kissed.”

“What I love about the sculpture is that it makes the bones that we are always walking and playing on manifest, like in a world that so often denies the reality of death and the reality that we are surrounded by and outnumbered by the dead. Here, is a very playful way of acknowledging that and acknowledging that and that always, whenever we play, whenever we live, we are living in both literal and metaphorical ways on the memory and bones of the dead.”

“The Colonel led all the cheers.”

“But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness”

“I felt the unfairness of it, the inarguable injustice of loving someone who might have loved you back but can't due to deadness.”

“But there’s a Sufi story that challenges the notion that people believe only because they need an opiate. Rabe’a al-Adiwiyah, a great woman saint of Sufism, was seen running through the streets of her hometown, Basra, carrying a torch in one hand and a bucket of water in the other. When someone asked her what she was doing, she answered, ‘I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down the gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven or fear of hell, but because He is God.”

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

“Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.”

“Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.”

“I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.”

“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

“If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?”