Humor Quote by Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Heaven has no taste.”

“If you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.”

“Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.”

“Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down strap breaks, and the load dumps on top of your little sheetmetal ride. Crushed under a world of concrete, you're sandwiched like so much meat salad between layers of steel and glass. In that last, fast flutter of your eyelids, you looking down that long tunnel toward the bright God Light and your dead grandma walking up to hug you--do you want to be hearing another radio commercial for a mega, clearance, closeout, blow-out liquidation car-stereo sale?”

“Familiarity breeds contempt and children.”

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.”

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!”