Humor Quote by Stephanie Perkins — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It's so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn't have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons.”

“If I weren't standing next to your boyfriend, I'd be tempted to ask you out myself.”

“Cricket Bell.” I smiled into my phone. “How did you get so wise?”

“I'm sorry," he says.”

“We straighten , bu our snickering is barely contained as we attempt to focus our attention on a picture of a discarded Coke can. "This guy's lady love is kind of a slob, don't you think?" he whispers.”

“Soap?”

“You like them," I realized.”

“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”

“To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues.”

“Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here. Here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up. Go back to bed, America. Here is American Gladiators. Here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America! You are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!”

“I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.”

“The blood you spill is the blood of kings,” seethed Dunyasha. “You are not fit for such a gift.”