Humor Quote by Garrison Keillor — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. ”

“The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.”

“When in doubt, look intelligent.”

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”

“Curiouser and curiouser.”

“Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure sixty by eighty inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it's startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans of their own, none of which are 'We're number two!”

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

“We are all here on earth to help others: what on earth the others are here for, I don't know.”

“Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with is”

“Fresh is better. But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?”