Humor Quote by Christopher Moore — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.”

“She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.”

“Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”

“I love you above all things, even pie.”

“Routine feeds the illusion of safety...”

“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.”

“Are you sleepwalking?' A voice asked behind me.”

“Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.”

“But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'”

“Now we're going to save a bunch of dirty meatsacks from a bunch of dirty cannibals? Why don't we rescue some orphaned kittens and put food out for stray puppies while we're at it?”

“So," he called to her back, "Just out of curiosity, you know, purely conversation and all, at what age”

“She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army.”