Humor Quote by Ilona Andrews — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?”

“I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat.”

“Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.”

“What's that?”

“Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked.”

“She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?”

“What's up?" [asked Ford.]”

“The train is roaring toward you and the villain is twirling his moustache and you're fussing that he's tied you to the tracks with the wrong kind of rope.”

“Do you sleep naked?”

“Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original.”

“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.”

“If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.”