Humor Quote by Rodney Dangerfield — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”

“To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome.”

“I hugged him without any kind of fear or self-consciousness, fiercely, with a rush of emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes.”

“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”

“Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting?”