Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

“Humor is tragedy plus time.”

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”

“There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“Before I could lose my courage, I said, "Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?”

“What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?”

“Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are?”

“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?”

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”

“Otrera stayed dead the second time," Kinzie said, batting her eyes. "We have to thank you for that. If you ever need a new girlfriend...well, I think you'd look great in an iron collar and an orange jumpsuit.”