Humor Quote by Michelle Hodkin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again... and again.”

“I slipped in and out of consciousness as time stretched and flowed around me. Dreams and reality blurred, but I liked the dreams better. Noah was in them.”

“Wait," I said as Noah slipped a book from a shelf and headed toward the door. "Where are you going?”

“You're supposed to say, 'All I want is your happiness. I'll do whatever it takes, even if it means being without you.'”

“I read the title from the cover. ' 'The joy of... crap.' ' I read the rest of the full title of the thick, nondescript volume to myself and felt myself redden.”

“Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears.”

“Snoring keeps the monsters away.”

“Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or...”

“From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.”

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

“Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)”

“Jessica, you are a pain in the arse, do you know that? If I were not so immensely fond of you, I should throw you out the window.”