Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

“When in doubt, tell the truth.”

“Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

“We're going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?- Timmie”

“Percy?" Annabeth gripped his arm.”

“Mulling this over, Vlad wiped her lip gloss from his lips with the back of his hand.Vampires, after all, didn't sparkle.”

“Monkeys can't talk, stupid!”

“I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'”

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”