Humor Quote by Mae West — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“He who hesitates is a damned fool.”

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

“It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.”

“I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

“You are never too old to become younger!”

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

“I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.”

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”

“People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.”

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

“Tayla cursed under her breath. "I was just explaining to Eidolon that Sin is a Smurfette.”

“There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?”