Humor Quote by Eddie Izzard — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.”

“And try to remember what we discussed, Susannah. A mediator is someone who helps others resolve conflicts. Not someone who, er, kicks them in the face.”

“You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.”

“How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don’t know how to use it?’”

“Do you know, sire, I think that if we live to tell our grandchildren about this war, they will accuse us of making it up.'”

“Could we wear spandex and blow things up?”

“Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could”