Humor Quote by Dorothy Parker — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”

“It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.”

“But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.”

“Be you wise and never sad,”

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”

“Oh, I can't help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true.”

“You were wrong. She really is the new general in town.”

“I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.”

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

“I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”