Humor Quote by Dorothy Parker — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“My love runs by like a day in June,”

“It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.”

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”

“No good deed goes unpunished.”

“Bravo," said Grimalkin, peering down from Cold Tom's chest. "The Winter prince and Oberon's jester agreeing on something. The world must be ending.”

“And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.”

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”

“Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”

“There was a dragon who had a long-standing obsession with a queen's breasts," she said, growing breathless. "The dragon knew the penalty to touch her would mean death, yet he revealed his secret desire to the king's chief doctor. This man promised he could arrange for the dragon to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him one thousand gold coins." She spread her soapy hands over his nipples, then down his arms. "Though he didn't have the money, the dragon readily agreed to the scheme.”