Humor Quote by Dorothy Parker — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.”

“It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

“Men”

“I'm not holding you against your will; I'm holding you against your car.”

“When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”

“Tarzan-like men are my weakness, apparently.”

“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.”

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”

“Never doubt my weaseling abilities, Shadowhunter, for they are epic and memorable in their scope.”