Humor Quote by Dave Barry — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'”

“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”

“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.”

“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”

“What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.”

“Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.”

“I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon’s... backside.”

“I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.”

“I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.”

“Writer’s block is only a failure of the ego.”

“Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies”

“Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.”