Humor Quote by Scott Adams — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

“Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.”

“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

“Because this absolutely insane - the craziest thing I'd ever done. Worse than giving a one-star review, scarier than asking for an interview with an author I'd give my firstborn to eat lunch with, more stupid than kissing Daemon.”

“It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him.”

“So much good, so much evil. Just add water.”

“Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris.”

“Mary-Lynnette: "You have not read 'Pride and Prejudice'.”

“Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?" Minho asked, pulling Thomas's attention away from Alby.”