Humor Quote by Garrison Keillor — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. ”

“The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.”

“When in doubt, look intelligent.”

“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

“Punctuation, is? fun!”

“I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.”

“Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.”

“Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!”

“I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie’s cheek.”

“That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.”