Humor Quote by Garrison Keillor — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.”

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. ”

“When in doubt, look intelligent.”

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”

“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”

“Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!”

“Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach,” I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. “ ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH.”

“You can have everything in the world, but if you don't have love, none of it means crap," he said promptly. "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love always forgives, trusts, supports, and endures. Love never fails. When every star in the heavens grows cold, and when silence lies once more on the face of the deep, three things will endure: faith, hope, and love.”

“He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.”

“I'm going to talk to her.”

“If you want to be seen, stand up.”