Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.”

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

“You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”

“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”

“My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.”

“When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.”

“What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf.”

“The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.”