Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”

“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”

“Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.”

“I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.”

“Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.”

“I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.'”

“They pulled apart when Keefe shouted, "YOU GUYS HAVE TO SEE THIS!”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“Shigure: "Lemme guess; you lost your temper and yelled at her again, right? You know, you shouldn't do that if you're just going to regret it. Not too bright, now is it?”

“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”