Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”

“Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

“Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and... reproduction.”

“Kira: L, do you know”

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

“Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.”

“Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original.”