Humor Quote by Steve Martin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”

“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

“Be so good they can't ignore you.”

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

“The problem with having evil minions is that minions are stupid.”

“Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”

“Come! Come sit by me. It’s a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt.”

“The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.”

“molesting the vampire while he's too weak to fight back, iz? jace asked. i'm pretty sure that violates at least one of the accords.”

“Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.”