Humor Quote by Steve Martin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”

“she is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin bloomed like roses.”

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

“I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”

“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.”

“You are putting yourself in serious danger...'”

“No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.”

“There aren't any syringes." Red Sox came over and held a sterile pack out. When she tried to take it from him, he kept a grip on the thing. "I know you'll use this wisely.”

“Once I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.”