Humor Quote by Steve Martin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Be so good they can't ignore you.”

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”

“Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”

“I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.”

“I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.”

“Captain! To your left there’s a Lunar guard and on your right is a doctor who’s running tests on Lunars and I’m being held by one of Levana’s wolf hybrids and please be careful!”

“If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.”

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.”

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”