Humor Quote by Steve Martin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

“Life exists so the Universe can experience itself.”

“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”

“It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.”

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”

“All of those faeries and duels and mad queens and so on, and no one quoted old Billy Shakespeare. Not even once.”

“I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body.”

“But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'”

“Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.”

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,”